Citaat van: Misha op 09-11-2009 10:18:55
http://media.nu.nl/m/m1czut5a0w5a.jpg

Hahaha!

http://www.mxfiles.kneib.biz/drag_and_go_back_spezial.html

http://joffie.swal.org/bs/

Citaat van: Misha op 09-11-2009 15:51:54
http://joffie.swal.org/bs/

aah, zo doe jij dat 

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND,
look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that Whilst Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

AVONDCURSUS VOOR MANNEN

Alleen toegankelijk voor mannen!
Let op: vanwege de complexiteit en moeilijkheidsgraad van de lessen,
zal elke cursus maximaal 8 cursisten accepteren.
De cursus is verdeeld over 2 dagen en zal de volgende onderwerpen omvatten:

DAG 1

HOE GEEF IK DE PLANTEN WATER?
Stappenplan en diavoorstelling.

TOILETROLLEN- GROEIEN ZE ZELF WEER AAN?
Groepsdiscussie.

VERSCHILLEN TUSSEN DE WASMAND EN DE VLOER?
Oefenen met verschillende soorten wasmanden (visualisatietraining)

IS HET GENETISCH GEZIEN MOGELIJK STIL TE ZITTEN ALS ZIJ FILEPARKEERT?
Rij-simulator.

DE AFSTANDSBEDIENING?
De afstandsbediening loslaten: telefonische hulplijn en diverse
praatgroepen.

HOE KAN JE DINGEN VINDEN?
Training in het zoeken op de goede plek in plaats van schreeuwend het
hele huis overhoop te halen. Open forum.

DAG 2

LEGE MELKPAKKEN: KOELKAST OF PRULLENBAK?
Groepsdiscussie en rollenspel.

BLOEMEN MEEBRENGEN VOOR HAAR IS NIET SCHADELIJK VOOR JE
PowerPoint presentatie.

ECHTE MANNEN VRAGEN DE WEG ALS ZE VERDWAALD ZIJN
Waar gebeurd verhaal van de man die het eens probeerde.

DE VAAT/ SERVIESGOED: VLIEGEN ZE ZELF NAAR HET AANRECHT/ AFWASMACHINE?
Debat met enkele experts.

BASISVERSCHILLEN TUSSEN JE MOEDER EN JE PARTNER?
Praktijkles en rollenspel.

HET IDEALE WINKELMAATJE ZIJN?
Ontspanningsoefeningen, medidatie en ademhalingstechnieken.

BELANGRIJKE DATA ONTHOUDEN & BELLEN ALS JE LATER THUIS KOMT
Neem agenda/ PDA mee naar de cursus.

LOSLATEN: ERMEE LEREN LEVEN DAT JE SOMS GEEN GELIJK HEBT
Persoonlijke begeleiding mogelijk.

(VK 121109)

Twee meisjes zitten in de klas naast elkaar tijdens het proefwerk.
Volgende dag komt de leraar even met ze praten.
Jullie hebben op alle zes vragen exact hetzelfde antwoord gegeven! Hoe komt dat?

We hebben dezelfde leraar 

My wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target, a huge shopping mall-like store. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs.Taylor

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to
ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband,
Mr. Edward are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7:
He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away?. This caused the employee to leave
her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose
time and costing the company money.

5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby.

6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Police were
called.

9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.


10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
Yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but
not least:


15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled
very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.
One of the clerks passed out.

Citaat van: t5karel op 01-11-2009 13:11:51
Cursus Rietdekken gaat niet door




Riet is ziek

Ben die laatste was echt leuk kende ik nog niet 

Citaat van: Ben op 13-11-2009 14:50:26


2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Dat heb ik wel eens gedaan in de Bijenkorf, maar dan alemaal tegelijk 

Citaat van: Laserblue op 13-11-2009 16:01:37

Citaat van: Ben op 13-11-2009 14:50:26


2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Dat heb ik wel eens gedaan in de Bijenkorf, maar dan alemaal tegelijk 

Wie niet     

Citaat van: viking_in_shorts op 13-11-2009 20:04:22

Citaat van: Laserblue op 13-11-2009 16:01:37

Citaat van: Ben op 13-11-2009 14:50:26
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Dat heb ik wel eens gedaan in de Bijenkorf, maar dan alemaal tegelijk 

Wie niet     

Elke keer weer als we in de Bijenkorf, Hema, V&D of noem maar op zijn.....

Ow ja, knuffelberen en beeldjes van dieren zet ik ook altijd neer in 'standjes'..... Lachen joh, winkelen met mij.